We’ve had a few comments asking how to dress emo when your parents are strict or how to stop them freaking out so we’re going to offer you some advice to help educate your parents without scaring them. It may even help to read through this with your parents.
Many parents have a hard time coping with their children’s dress sense or being a part of an alternative culture. This is especially true of parents with a more traditional background or different tastes. News stories don’t help the cause often scaring viewers into believing every emo kid or goth cuts themselves, thinks about suicide and worships the devil which is far from the true. Emo kids don’t harm themselves or think about suicide or the devil any more than any other kid. A geeky kid or even a popular kid is just as likely to think about self harming or feel depressed as someone who listens to emo music.
So how do you explain that to your parents that being an emo isn’t about being depressed and cutting yourself but is just who you want to be without freaking them out. The best way is to educate them with posts such as these explaining what the emo culture actually is and how you fit into it.
There’s many reasons people become emos, from the love of the fashion to relating to the music. Emo has been around in one form or another since the 70s so it is nothing new and nothing your parents should fear. Being an emo is the same as being into rap music or computer games or looking after animals, its something that ties you to other people through your love of something.
As we mentioned, self harming will be brought up by parents as well as other negative stereotypes which make the news but you will have to explain they are just that, stereotypes and not true of emos in most cases and certainly not true of why you want to be an emo. Just because someone does drunk driving doesn’t mean every driver is a drunk or everyone who gets drunk is going to start driving. Emos are actually quite positive, many emos are into giving out ‘Free Hugs’, not to strangers of course but making their friends feel wanted and appreciated. Emos are more in tune with their emotions than the average person, even if they can’t explain them they know something that does. Its certainly not bad to understand your feelings and finding ways of dealing with them either through music, being with friends or understanding you are not alone. Emos are also incredibly creative from drawing, to poetry to playing musical instruments, all of which are positive activities.
Your parents may mention its just a phase. True it may be, as you grow older your tastes in music, people and activities change but right now being emo is the phase for you and your parents need to let you grow to find out who you are. There is a middle ground to be found here, being allowed to do what ever you want is not the right way to live but finding your own tastes and making your own life experiences are.
They may also think you are depressed. You may possible be but not all emos are. Getting sad over someone we miss or something someone said does not make you depressed. Everyone is affected differently and emos are not all depressed. Most emo music covers relationships, life, work and fun, all things that everyone in the world gets happy and sad over so it is wrong to say all emos are depressed. In fact emos are probably some of the happiest and nicest people out there. In the UK clubbing scene rock and emo nights are a joy to be a part of as everyone gets along and helps each other out. In the Mosh pit no one is singled out and no one is hurt, everyone will look out for you. Compare this to trendy clubs where there are more often than not fights and arguments and being emo is much better than being a ‘normal’ person.
Being emo has nothing to do with being depressed. Depressed people do not become emos and emos do not become depressed by being emo.
Explaining your choices to your parents will often be difficult so it is best to discuss this with your parents in small stages. Don’t one day suddenly dye your hair black, put on make up and wear emo clothing as this will be a cause for concern from your parents. Why? Because it is a shock that happens so fast. Educating your parents by taking them to emo shops like Hot Topic or visiting sites like this one showing off the cool things emos are a part of will help explain your choices. Talk to your parents about bands you like and why they are so awesome, what they have achieved in their life and how they help people like you. Think of Hayley Williams from Paramore, she is emo but is a down to earth girl who is in a very successful band.
Being emo isn’t a form of rebellion but one of self expression. The same way you might be into computer games or like to draw tigers. At the end of the day its just clothes, hair and music and how harmful can that possibly be?
Don’t get defensive or aggressive when talking to your parents. This is very hard to do but it will not help your cause. Instead explain why you like the style, browse the clothing we offer here and show what items you’d like to buy and wear and most of all explain why. Finally try to compromise with them, you can wear some of the style if you keep up your home work or do good things like learning how to play the guitar. If your parents don’t want you wearing too much black find other colours that work well with black like vibrant red or pink.
We hope this guide helps both emos as well as their parents and if either of you have questions please leave a comment below (its free!) and you’ll get an answer.